Deep breath.....

New week, praise God......really learning about living faith day to day

Sometimes i'm excited about the unknown, sometimes i can't sleep 'cause everything is so all over the place

but ALWAYS He's there and right now that's my focus.....sure i will continue to take steps towards working out my future. But mostly i need to know that I'm putting God first and that if He took me home today, He'd be happy with how things went. A wise man once told me that I need to take each day captive, making my first thought of the day about surrending all of my desires for that day to what God has planned. Easier said that done? Absolutely. -  but it brings me comfort to know that i am trying.

These verses were pretty much a lifeline for me in Africa both times and if i'm being honest, i never thought i'd need to hear these words so desperately back home. Well, this past week showed me differently....and I'm glad. I asked Him to show me that I need Him as much at home as i do when I'm caught in the middle of a riot in Liberia. So thank you God for pursuing me relentlessly and for caring enough to show me that I need you at all times and in all places......

Psalm 91

 1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
       will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. ^[a]

 2 I will say ^[b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
       my God, in whom I trust."

Another deep breath.....and back to work for me

Had a meeting with the missions director of harvest bible chapel yesterday......coolest guy I've met in a while - very similar outlook on life, perspective on ministry etc etc - confirmed that I am not infact outside of  my  mind but instead simply choosing a different path...

so....we might meet up once a week for him to get to know me better(and vice versa I guess) and who knows what comes from that......a missions internship with harvest has been suggested....me? intern at harvest? really? don't know what i think yet.......

going for a moment of vulnerability....never have felt "good" enough to work in ministry never mind someplace like harvest...can't seem to let go of some things and never, ever feel like sin is well enough under control....but God uses broken vessels, i guess.

and that's about it...other than a brief comment on seperating nostalgia from facts about the past...how can we be sure that its one and not the other?....just thinking about past situations in my life....don't want to make them something that they weren't.....but i think i miss them - a lot.

Pretty darn good weekend.......

Friday: worked and then drove home(to wisconsin) to eat my mom's home cooking and deal with a bunch of administrative life- stuff that has been building up(EMT licensure, taxes, car insurance etc etc...)

Saturday: Caught up with the 'rents....watched the masters all day with my dad(way to grab your second green jacket Phil Mickelson) - and got to catch him up on all the English Premier League happenings as I have the FOX soccer channel and he does not...an area of jealousy for my dad. Soccer(football) will always be my favorite sport to watch - probably even after I've been in the U.S. for 50 yrs.....i guess its the one thing that sets me apart as a dirty immigrant......ok maybe there's more than one thing.....

Sunday: Drove back to Lindsey's, went to Harvest and then went to meet the mom...not at all what I expected but really cool afternoon.....

And now i'm back at work...super lame, but attempting to find the positive.....